Personal Validation (Mom's 30 Minute Blog Challenge)

Being a stay at home mom can get lonely and rather dull some days. There is a list of chores that need to get done every day, often multiple times I might add. Often the lack of appreciation for the things that we do each day makes us feel very ‘un-validated’ in our work. I try to keep myself busy and find new things to do and new skills to learn. I really enjoy cooking, menu planning, and getting a good bargain. Some of the times just the personal satisfaction I get from accomplishing these things helps me feel good. Other times I find that yeah I’m doing interesting things, but I don’t have any one around during the day to share these things with. I’m not overly social and don’t see myself as a ‘lady who lunches’ kind of gal. But I often find that I end up either talking to myself or searching out friends online via Facebook or a variety of special interest forums.

I just started volunteering in my daughter’s class this morning. My son is in preschool and the timeframe works out just right. I’m looking forward to interacting with the kids, helping the teacher out with clerical tasks and just having somewhere I need to go every Wednesday morning. Even though it’s an assignment I took on as part of contributing to my daughter’s classroom experience it is also something personally validating.

Blogging for me is probably the thing that is most personally validating – sometimes to the point of selfishness I might say. I’ve always loved writing and taking pictures. My content is comprised of things that are very important to me: my family, my home, food, our finances and my own sanity.

I’m hoping this winter to find snippets of time to actually explore more things that I want to do. I’d love to put a little more effort into decorating my home, give scrapbooking a try, resume exercising regularly, and of course spend more time writing. I love being home with my kids, love having the time and flexibility to care for my family, to cook good meals, to shop for bargains and really ‘make’ our home. But I know that I need to fill that out with a few more things that are a little more focused on Dawn and not just mommy

This post was written as my contribution to Steady Mom’s 30 Minute Blog Post challenge.  Click here to

check out this week's 30 Minute blog post on Steady Mom's Morning Routine as well as links to other posts in the 30 Minute Blog Post challenge.

Ok I'm going to admit the longest part of writing this post was trying to find a picture of myself to share.   Not only do I detest most pictures of myself...there just aren't that many as I'm always behind the camera instead of in front of it!

October Budget

We’ve been pushing the checking account to its lowest limits lately and something has got to give. As a result, I’ve been having moments of panic quite a bit and this always puts the thought that I need to get a job into my head. The last time my husband and I discussed this option he said not yet. I know that the only type of job that would work for us financially would be for me to work the hours when he is home. Even this might not work financially as he gets sporadic overtime that far out earns anything I’d make working part time. Also it would seriously diminish the quality of our family life.

October happens to be a three paycheck month as well as the month my husband receives a lump sum check for the retroactive pay raises from their recently approved union contract. My goal this month is to maximize the additional income by keeping our flexible expenses as low as possible. This is really going to be a challenge as the pantry needs some restocking, we need pellets for the pellet stove, the truck needs new tires and it looks like I will be taking a trip to Florida within the next month to help my father in law start sorting and packing up his house to move (more on this at a later date).

I managed to get Halloween costumes already from a local consignment shop, I’ve been doing a lot of cooking from scratch and have been back to my previous mode of bargain shopping for groceries and household needs.  I’ve also sold some clothes to the consignment shop and have more clothing as well as kids toys to bring down.  We also have a few larger items and pieces of furniture that I’d like to get out of the house so I’m going to list them on Craigslist. 

Hopefully by being smart, and of course with some luck, we can get a little bit ahead of the game before the upcoming holiday expenses start setting in. Now I'm off to finish clipping coupons and making my grocery list for tomorrow.  I’ll keep you posted on our success. Note that I used the word SUCCESS – positive thinking right???!!! 

Whirlwind

Wow it's been nutty around here.   I feel so lame for not posting this week.   I actually even made my menu, links, etc and just never posted it or linked it up to MPM.  Ha wouldn't you figure it's the one week I've followed it more than I have in the past few weeks.  I've missed being here but just have had too many things going on in my house to even get a chance to sit at my computer.   And my kids informed me that we need two computers as I HOG our one - uh NOT....this is MY computer I keep reminding them and I LET them use it......doh.

Tomorrow I have to be at school at 815 for the 1st Grade Nutritious breakfast.   The kids and I made a quiche tonite - I need to warm, slice, and plate it before heading there in the morning.   My neighbor's babysitter is going to take my son along with her other two charges for the morning.   And on top of that I forgot I volunteered to be snack mom for the Daisy meeting tomorrow afternoon.   So I have to get some apples to slice along with the cheese sticks and juice I already purchased during the week.   And of course my daughter had dance tonite as well as homework ..... aaarrgghhhh...

Hoping to get back to you all more next week.   Perhaps I can be a more sane writer then as well!

The Friday Frenzies

We returned from Florida on Tuesday evening and I feel like I've been behind on my life since even before we left. We had a very nice visit with my father in law, saw my husband's cousins for dinner at their new house and made another step in accepting our family dynamics without my mother in law.

It's a snowy day here and I'm trying to get things back on track at home. Laundry and dishes are at the top of the list as well as updating the budget worksheet and digging through some mail and paperwork.

I really need to get a menu plan in place for next week as the past couple nights meals have been really lame and really late! My pantry and fridge are a bit sparse looking so they need some restocking as well.

Have a nice Friday all....mine is a bit frenzied but hopefully will produce some well needed accomplishments in our household.

The Light in the Room

Is there someone in your life that always seems to bring the light, fire and energy into a room? That one person who commands your attention and focus? My mother in law was that person in our family. She had the amazing ability to make everything fun. She was the most energetic, celebratory person I’ve ever known. She made it all happen - be it little fancy napkins with snacks, a special outing with a picnic lunch or just being silly and goofy herself while egging (ok…commanding) us all to join her. It was required that we go dancing in the square when we visited and that we threw cocktail parties when they came back north to our house. Holidays were always marked by her – treats for Valentines and Halloween, snuggly bunny animals at Easter….my husband and father in law remember the green dinners at Saint Patrick’s Day as well.

I’m not saying she was perfect. If you hurt her deeply enough she never forgave you. She had no patience or tolerance for sickness, laziness, being tired or whining. Suck it up, get up and get going. Life was to be lived to its fullest. And live it she did....up until the last day before she went into the hospital. Just days before that she took my daughter for her first pedicure, made her last Thanksgiving turkey complete with the stuffing I have yet to master, and sold a house.

I spent the time she was in the hospital and just after she passed away driving her beautiful Cadillac and listening to her Miley Cyrus CD. “The Climb” had become an inspirational boost to her during the rough days of treatments. Even a short trip to Publix had me in tears…missing the woman who made me her daughter from day one, the grandmother to my children, the woman who raised the man I love, and even during times when we clashed….a woman who was one of my dearest friends.

Today is her birthday….she would have been 67 today. Her light was extinguished too soon…and those of us who loved her are still muddling around in a bit of darkness trying to re-kindle in her honor the fire she set in our lives. We love you Marilyn; wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, friend…you showed us how to live and love life….we pray that in time we can figure out how to get where you want us to be, in some semblance, without you.

 

Peace, Love, Faith and Hope

Marilyn

2/9/43

12/11/09

 

On My Way Back

Life is slowly getting back to some level of normalcy around here.   Just last night I started reading blogs and planning some post ideas for next week.   I haven't done any menu planning in ages so Menu Plan Monday is a definite on my list as well as the post of Links I Liked that I try to put up on Tuesdays each week.  I also really need to get a grip on our finances so I have some frugality posts in the works as well.

The last six weeks have left my house in quite a bit of chaos.   We're disorganized, undergoing a master bath remodel, have presents that still need to be put away, old toys that need to be donated, and thank you cards to be written for the holiday gifts as well as for the incredible support given to us during my mother in law's illness and death.

Slowly all these things will happen.   Of course I'm realizing that I need to get far better at delegating and letting unimportant things go or I'll truly drive myself insane.

A Time of Sadness

My inlaws with their grandchildren two years ago

My mother in law passed away Friday, December 11th in Florida.  She had breast cancer that had spread to her lungs and her lymph nodes and ended up in the hospital after being diagnosed with pneumonia.  We were hopeful that she could beat the pneumonia, return home and have more time with us before the cancer got worse....that was not to be.  She passed away knowing she was loved with her son holding her hand.

It's been an incredibly sad and difficult month for us all.  As in most times of sadness though, my husband's family bonded with each other, shared many memories and showed his mom that together we would be ok.

I returned home yesterday after more than a week away from my children.  My husband and father in law will be here on Sunday.  I'm trying today to get my life back in order, finish my tasks to create a somewhat happy Christmas at least for the children, as well as prepare to have my father in law with us for several weeks.  I hope to return to blogging after the new year.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 

Family Time

Here is the four of us at Disney's Fort Wilderness Resort Campfire.   This picture was supposed to include Grandma and Grandpa.   It was a strange 2 day trip that we took - the kids had a great time but my husband and I had to work had to produce that...always knowing in the back of our minds that it was supposed to include his mom and dad.  We tried to reschedule and when we couldn't his parents insisted that we give their grandchildren the trip they wanted them to have even without them.

We are still in Florida.   We extended our stay until this coming weekend.  Today we got some good news that my mother inlaw has made a step in the right direction.   We are hopeful and cautiously optimistic that tomorrow will bring another positive step.

We are all tired - physically and emotionally.   My brother in law has been here since the morning we left for Disney (we couldn't have left dad alone so that was a blessing).  Today we decorated the Christmas Tree with my husband's cousins and their husbands after they all visited at the hospital.  Then we all shared a meal prepared by a neighbor along with sandwiches and salads that I picked up from the grocery store.   It was probably the most festive evening we've had so far...not even Thanksgiving was as enjoyable honestly.

I hope to do a bit more decorating tomorrow and take the kids down to the town square in the evening to see all the holiday decorations.  I also need to see if I can get my Christmas cards printed at CVS and do a bit of online shopping as I am now behind schedule....but of course for a more important reason.

Last night my mother in law searched my face as she asked me for the truth....I told her that she needed to keep 'making the climb' and that she would be 'ok'.   I know in my heart that it's not her time yet.....not yet...

A Bit of Time Away

It's been over a week since I've posted.   I am currently on vacation visiting my in-laws in Florida and prior to that was really consumed with getting ready to leave as well as trying to get a jump on some of my holiday shopping, decorating, etc as we won't be home until December 2nd.

We are staying in The Villages - an active adult community between Orlando and Ocala that is incredibly huge and a great place for my inlaws to live as well as for us to visit.   I hope to share a few photos over the weekend of the community and what we have been doing.

We had a nice Thanksgiving although it turned out different than planned.  We ended up moving the 17 person party from my mother in law's home to her neighbors, as hosting it here wouldn't have worked that day.  Those of you that we are close to know that we are facing some family challenges right now so you understand...I don't want to share more publicly out of respect for my family's privacy.    All in all it was a day to be thankful for...a day that we shared with family we don't see often as well as my inlaws friends who weren't able to be with their own families for the day.

I hope this holiday also found all of you healthy, happy and thankful for the blessings in your own live.  I miss blogging this past week, but need to take this time to be here and involved in the moment....blogging can wait until later.

Getting Back on Track

My daughter headed back to school today.   She is fever free but still has a lingering cough.   I opted to keep her off the bus though so my son and I dropped her off and will be picking her up at the end of the day.  I've also decided to have her skip dance class tonight - she doesn't need the extra energy output and I'm trying to avoid exposing her to additional germs.   We'll do a makeup class next Saturday.

I'm a bit overwhelmed and a bit behind on the list of things I had hoped to accomplish this week.   One plus to being home is that I haven't spent money - that needs to change today though as my son and I are headed out to Shaws shortly to catch the last day of this week's sale (the one I made my list and prepped my coupons for).  Other than that I think I am going to take things slow today - even with the overwhelming task list.   I'm feeling a bit of something coming on - my ears are a little stuffy and my throat a bit pinchy.   If we weren't so low on some necessary groceries I wouldn't bother to go today.   That said though I think both DS and I could use a brief outing - we're a bit stir crazy.   Hopefully later on today I'll have a November Grocery Challenge post up with pictures.

Keeping It Real - Priorities and The Things I Stress About

Yesterday I wrote about priorities as a mom being subject to whatever comes your way. While my post yesterday was for the day, lately I’ve been struggling with my priorities overall. Right now I’m a stay at home mom – after being a ladder climbing career woman for almost 20 years. My oldest is 6 and attends 1st grade and my 3 year old is home with me. Some days I feel like Super Mom – I accomplish a lot of household tasks, I do fun and semi educational things with my son, I get dinner on the table and help my daughter with her homework. Other days I feel overwhelmed and certain that I am not focusing on the most important things.

Some of the things that I get stressed on are:

My son is 3 and doesn’t know his letters and can’t count past 3. Am I failing him as a mom? Does he need preschool or should I put together a homeschool curriculum for him? My oldest was in daycare and learned most of these things in that environment.

My daughter needs more focus on her homework – she is a good student but not overly ambitious. Do I push her harder? Do I make it her responsibility to do more than what is ‘just’ required? Is just dance lessons and Daisies enough or should she engage in more extra-curricular activities?   Can I handle more activities????

I am frugal on a lot of small things. I hang dry my clothes, shop sales with coupons, menu plan, keep my electronics on light strips that I shut off, stretch leftovers and pack lunches for my daughter and husband. I did just initiate a refinance on our mortgage - which is a big thing. But I know we need to close a financial gap and that the continuous slow tapping of my severance isn’t good. Do I need to work harder at saving? Do I need to suck it up and go back to work full-time? Is there more that I can do from home to make money?

I have holiday planning, vacation planning, winter survival planning, organizing the house and the kids, my husband, and myself and ahhhhh…..so many things running through my brain. On top of it I added this blog to my list of things to do. Honestly though this is the one thing I feel is for me. Selfish or narcissistic as it sounds, I find myself energized by writing this blog and receiving positive feedback on what I put out. I have so many creative ideas that I want to implement and I get so excited about them – I just don’t have the time to get to all of them quick enough. The excitement for a project that is all my own has been awesome for my brain and my self-worth.

I just needed a chance to vent and also to let my readers know what’s real. I read a lot of blogs about homemaking, frugal living, homeschooling, cooking, parenting, faith, etc and sometimes after reading these I feel incredibly inadequate. However since I’ve been writing myself, I know that a blog is often ‘life edited’ for readers. Yes mine is that quite often – but for the moment I wanted to keep it real.