The Light in the Room

Is there someone in your life that always seems to bring the light, fire and energy into a room? That one person who commands your attention and focus? My mother in law was that person in our family. She had the amazing ability to make everything fun. She was the most energetic, celebratory person I’ve ever known. She made it all happen - be it little fancy napkins with snacks, a special outing with a picnic lunch or just being silly and goofy herself while egging (ok…commanding) us all to join her. It was required that we go dancing in the square when we visited and that we threw cocktail parties when they came back north to our house. Holidays were always marked by her – treats for Valentines and Halloween, snuggly bunny animals at Easter….my husband and father in law remember the green dinners at Saint Patrick’s Day as well.

I’m not saying she was perfect. If you hurt her deeply enough she never forgave you. She had no patience or tolerance for sickness, laziness, being tired or whining. Suck it up, get up and get going. Life was to be lived to its fullest. And live it she did....up until the last day before she went into the hospital. Just days before that she took my daughter for her first pedicure, made her last Thanksgiving turkey complete with the stuffing I have yet to master, and sold a house.

I spent the time she was in the hospital and just after she passed away driving her beautiful Cadillac and listening to her Miley Cyrus CD. “The Climb” had become an inspirational boost to her during the rough days of treatments. Even a short trip to Publix had me in tears…missing the woman who made me her daughter from day one, the grandmother to my children, the woman who raised the man I love, and even during times when we clashed….a woman who was one of my dearest friends.

Today is her birthday….she would have been 67 today. Her light was extinguished too soon…and those of us who loved her are still muddling around in a bit of darkness trying to re-kindle in her honor the fire she set in our lives. We love you Marilyn; wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, friend…you showed us how to live and love life….we pray that in time we can figure out how to get where you want us to be, in some semblance, without you.

 

Peace, Love, Faith and Hope

Marilyn

2/9/43

12/11/09

 

Veteran's Day November 11, 2009

Honoring those who have served and are serving our country...

thank you for your courage and your sacrifice.

Today we visited my grandfather's grave at the Veteran's Memorial Field Cemetary in his hometown.  He was a World War II Army Veteran who served in France, England and Germany for four years.  This is the first time I've ever brought my children to a cemetary.  Surprisingly it was at my daughter's request that we visit the graves of soldiers today - so I told her I knew a special soldier we could visit.   Lately I am very impressed with her grasp on our country's history and the things that are important for us to remember and respect.  It was a bittersweet moment for me today - pride to be the granddaughter of a good man and sorrow that my children and he won't know each other. 

Keeping It Real - Priorities and The Things I Stress About

Yesterday I wrote about priorities as a mom being subject to whatever comes your way. While my post yesterday was for the day, lately I’ve been struggling with my priorities overall. Right now I’m a stay at home mom – after being a ladder climbing career woman for almost 20 years. My oldest is 6 and attends 1st grade and my 3 year old is home with me. Some days I feel like Super Mom – I accomplish a lot of household tasks, I do fun and semi educational things with my son, I get dinner on the table and help my daughter with her homework. Other days I feel overwhelmed and certain that I am not focusing on the most important things.

Some of the things that I get stressed on are:

My son is 3 and doesn’t know his letters and can’t count past 3. Am I failing him as a mom? Does he need preschool or should I put together a homeschool curriculum for him? My oldest was in daycare and learned most of these things in that environment.

My daughter needs more focus on her homework – she is a good student but not overly ambitious. Do I push her harder? Do I make it her responsibility to do more than what is ‘just’ required? Is just dance lessons and Daisies enough or should she engage in more extra-curricular activities?   Can I handle more activities????

I am frugal on a lot of small things. I hang dry my clothes, shop sales with coupons, menu plan, keep my electronics on light strips that I shut off, stretch leftovers and pack lunches for my daughter and husband. I did just initiate a refinance on our mortgage - which is a big thing. But I know we need to close a financial gap and that the continuous slow tapping of my severance isn’t good. Do I need to work harder at saving? Do I need to suck it up and go back to work full-time? Is there more that I can do from home to make money?

I have holiday planning, vacation planning, winter survival planning, organizing the house and the kids, my husband, and myself and ahhhhh…..so many things running through my brain. On top of it I added this blog to my list of things to do. Honestly though this is the one thing I feel is for me. Selfish or narcissistic as it sounds, I find myself energized by writing this blog and receiving positive feedback on what I put out. I have so many creative ideas that I want to implement and I get so excited about them – I just don’t have the time to get to all of them quick enough. The excitement for a project that is all my own has been awesome for my brain and my self-worth.

I just needed a chance to vent and also to let my readers know what’s real. I read a lot of blogs about homemaking, frugal living, homeschooling, cooking, parenting, faith, etc and sometimes after reading these I feel incredibly inadequate. However since I’ve been writing myself, I know that a blog is often ‘life edited’ for readers. Yes mine is that quite often – but for the moment I wanted to keep it real.

Links I Liked

Here’s a few links to posts I’ve read over the past week that I really enjoyed:

Blitz-It Friday #28 at Organized Everyday
Blitzing is a great way to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Check out Organized Everyday for the Organized Mommy’s blitzing methodology. I find that blitzing helps keep me focused and helps me get a lot done. When I think I have all day to get things cleaned up I end up noodling around and not accomplishing too much. Organized Everyday is a great site for tips on de-cluttering and organizing your home and life – yep even organizing your kids and husband!! My sidebar has a link to this blog with the most current post noted.


Kids, Chores, and Routines – A Simple, Yet Crucial Part of Family Management at Life as Mom
FishMama at Life as Mom has a neat visual way to remind kids of their daily chores – check It out.  My sidebar also has a link to this blog with the most current post noted.


The Organized Christmas – Christmas Countdown: Six Weeks to an Organized Christmas
Cynthia Ewer from Organized Home has a free six week Christmas Organizing Plan on her OrganizedChristmas.com website. The site has weekly planning themes, daily inspirational messages as well as free printable forms to help get and keep you organized. I am getting started today with my own planning using Cynthia’s site. We are going to Florida for a week over Thanksgiving and I’d like to have most of my holiday tasks completed by then. I’ll be putting additional links up to this site and posting my progress weekly and  – want to join me?

Links I Liked

Here are a few links to posts I've read over the past week that I've enjoyed. Hope you do as well:

Embrace Plan B at I’m an Organizing Junkie
Laura has some heartfelt words about battling perfectionism, stepping out of your comfort zone and being 'OK' with the current situation even when it goes against your plans.

Review: The Simple Living Guide at The Simple Dollar
Trent has a review of Janet Luhrs book "The Simple Living Guide" that has inspired me to check out this book further.

Guest Post: Maximize Your Freezer's Potential and Minimize Freezer Burn at Money Saving Mom
Amy from The Finer Things in Life writes a guest post on Money Saving Mom about how to package meals for the freezer. Great tips for those of you who try to do bulk cooking.

Feel free to leave comments on any great links you've found or links to your own posts that you think myself or my readers would enjoy.

I Don't Know How They Do It

3 of "My Boys" for the Day

Yesterday I babysat for the boys next door. After getting my daughter and the two oldest boys on the bus, my son and I went over for 8am to get the other two boys. The morning was spent between their house and my house, doing a little bit of cleaning up and baking while the boys played. At lunchtime one of the boys came home from kindergarten. I fed them lunch, put the baby down for a nap and took the other three outside in the front yard for about 20 minutes. My daughter and the oldest boy got home at 3:30. Everyone had a snack and we all went out for a while again. The older kids stayed out while I brought the baby and the two littlest boys inside.

We walked back to our house just before 5:30pm and I immediately got supper started. My husband was working late and then going to his dart club so I had all the parenting, feeding, homework, and bed readying duties myself. WOW was that tougher than I had realized. I’m used to having those responsibilities when he works late but never after working myself. I’ve been a stay at home mom since my daughter started school and have been able to work my schedule to accommodate everything else that needs to get done. (uh oh….I need to get ground beef out of the freezer this morning for dinner tonight….sorry brain wanderings there)

Last night made me very thankful that I am able to stay home right now and that most nights my husband is home to help with homework, bath and dinner cleanup. It also gave me a great deal of compassion for the women out there who work all day and then come home at night to do all the things that I’m able to do during the day. Let’s just say I’m a little bit in awe…..

Faith and Friendship

A lot of the homemaking blogs out there are written by women of Christian faith whose beliefs and family choices are very different from mine. While I have gotten some wonderful advice, great recipes and even spiritual inspiration from these women, my own personal faith might cause contention if we were to discuss it. That said, I respect their choices and their convictions to follow their faith.

What I’ve found in real life though is that sometimes people of different faiths and beliefs have a hard time bonding as friends and neighbors. I am honored to have made friends with two women of vastly different spiritual and religious beliefs – and our friendship flourishes not just in spite of our differences but often because of them. We are friends and neighbors, our children romp through all our yards and through each other’s houses. We share sorrows, joys, aggravations, meals and cocktails – often all in the same evening with at least 8 children underfoot. Sometimes our discussions get very philosophical and with grace and respect we question and explore each other’s faiths and practices. I’ve learned so much about these women and so much about the spiritual paths they have chosen. I’ve also found that I’ve added components of their beliefs into my own because they resonated within me as ‘right’.

I’m raising a glass, wishing on the moon and bowing my head to thank god/goddess and the heavens to have gifted the three of us with each other.